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NaNoWriMo – third week, changes and reflections

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

Another week, another beginning… of my novel. It’s the third week into NaNoWriMo and I’m barely writing these days, mainly because the story I started writing is not the same story I’ve got at the moment and while I had spent years thinking about the former story I know precious little about the latter one. I’m thinking a lot about it now and today it starts all over again! I’ve decided to change the beginning. Again! How am I supposed to write a novel when I keep changing my mind as to how, when and where it starts and who are the other characters? At least, I’m pretty sure about my MC at the moment. Cross your fingers!

In the meantime, my latest book “Lord Darlington’s Fancy” is finally out and you all have a chance to win a copy HERE. All you have to do is leave a comment and your e-mail. Easy, isn’t it? Please, stop by! :-) )

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NaNoWriMo – second week and … impressions…

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Well, my second week wasn’t as successful as my first. Not that I expected anything else. I’m exhausted both physically and mentally and I feel that I need some time off writing. It didn’t help matters that half-way through the second week I found myself on the edge of a massive gaping hole in the plot that I knew not how to cover or cross. There seemed to be nothing to build the bridge from and for a few days I was in a very bad writing shape.

However, I kept on writing, squeezing out the requisite number of words, happy that I was still going but not sure where exactly I was going any more. Then, after two days of intense thinking about the problem at hand, everything became clear. It also became apparent that the story I was working on changed dramatically. In fact it was no longer the story I started writing, but it was the story I definitely wanted to finish writing.

Suddenly I learned the meaning behind three letters that haven’t given me any rest ever since they entered my head about two years ago. I know what they stand for now (Hooray!) and I think I know where I want the story to go, however, I’m not so sure that I will handle another two weeks of writing under duress what with my day job , blog posts, books to read and life to live. I’m extremely tired and I don’t know whether to go on or to take a break…

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NaNoWriMo – first week and first impressions :-))

Monday, November 7th, 2011

I didn’t plan on doing NaNo this year (I tried only once before and only ever wrote about 5000 words, though whether it was due to laziness or lack of time I don’t remember), but on the 1st of November something took hold of me and told me that it would be a great opportunity to get my on and off going “Almendra” novel out. I thought that I had more than enough to go by. After all, I had been playing with different ideas and backstory for ages. Except that when I actually started writing I suddenly realized that ideas and backstory are not quite solid enough to support an actual story. It started falling apart in front of my eyes and I was devastated, because I’ve spent years thinking and dreaming about it.

However, despite the fact that it was a rather heavy blow, I didn’t feel like giving up. I thought that I could as well give it my best shot. What do I have to lose? The first three days of intense writing were very difficult. I don’t think I’ve ever written so much in so few days. But, gradually, the discipline settled in and I found myself making not only the required 1666 words a day but over 2000 without much effort but with never-ending zeal. I’m just writing, generating all possible and impossible ideas and having fun with them.

Of course, it’s not exactly a novel at this point and it’ll take a lot of work before I can call it one, but it ‘s the solid foundation that can, in due course, support a fully-fledged novel. It’s full of talks, arguments and discussions that give me a lot of new material and a lot to think about. My MC has gone through half a dozen name changes already. Her companions have likewise changed. Some even disappeared. As for the place the story is taking place, it gives me the most trouble, because I can’t find a suitable name to call it. I might have hit upon it at last today, but I might change my mind by the time the day is over. All in all, having overcome my original shock and misery, I’m quite happy with my progress so far and I hope that I’ll be able to complete my first ever NaNoWriMo with 50,000 words or maybe even more :-) )

Are you doing NaNo this year? What are your first impressions of the first week? Become my Writing Buddy! I’m farida mestek.

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the change of writing plans due to NaNoWriMo

Thursday, November 3rd, 2011

Due to the fact that I decided (quite suddenly) to take part in NaNoWriMo this year in order to write my fantasy novel, loosely based on “Almendra: A Fairy-Tale”, I’m putting on hold all my Regency projects such as “The Unfortunate Story of Miss Storm” that I’ve been posting on-line and my current and greatly favoured epistolary WIP.

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NaNoWriMo – another try at writing a novel under duress

Monday, October 31st, 2011

I don’t know how long I’ll last this time around (I think I didn’t make it beyond one week’s mark last time I tried) but I’ve decided to take part in NaNoWriMo again and write, or at the very least start writing, Almendra: a novel – Almendra’s Quest. Who else is doing NaNoWriMo this year? I’m looking for Writing Buddies!

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regency novella in letters: Letter Four + promos

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011
Letter Four of “The Unfortunate Story of Miss Emily Storm” is finally here. Your feedback is much appreciated! Don’t forget that you have a chance (until 8th October) to win a copy of “Margaret’s Rematch” at My Jane Austen Book Club – just leave your comment and your e-mail! I’m talking about Jane Austen and the challenge of writing Austenesque novels there. By the way, I’m also talking about Fanny Burney at Lesley-Anne McLeod’s blog.

 

And now… Letter Four!

Thorrington
Oh Emily! 

I must confess that your letters bring me nothing but pain and headaches these days. I am sure I do not know what is to become of you now. But all is lost. Quite lost! Mother and father know that you have eloped and they declare that you are ruined forever. Indeed, I imagine that the whole of Thorrington knows that by now and it is insupportable to walk along the High Street or enter any of the shops, because everyone is either staring you out of the countenance or pointing at you and whispering behind your back. Mrs. Berry was here again. She said that she was determined to set the record straight and prove that neither she nor her daughter had been ever mistaken as to the identity of one of the Storm girls, gadding about London all on her own. That’s what she said, Emily, I swear to you! I believe I have never met anyone so meddlesome in all my life.

She was announced while we were still at breakfast – all but father who was away – with a letter in her hand and a look of triumph upon her red with excitement face. She appeared quite out of order and by the manner in which she was clutching her throat and patting her hair I assumed that she had been running all the way to our house. It was apparent that she had something of great import to communicate, but she was so much out of breath that she could only gasp and there was no getting at what it was that she wanted to say. Mother was greatly confused and asked her to join us and take some refreshment, which Mrs. Berry did with indecent alacrity. One would think that she is starving. But then everybody knows how awfully mean she is and I expect she does not have such fine breakfasts as we do.

Once she had regained her faculties, she addressed mother with a glaring look and, waving the letter in her face, informed her that she had written to her daughter and had this moment received her reply in which she confirmed that it was indeed you that she had seen in London. Moreover, she had a testimony of her daughter’s maid Becky who had recognized your maid Molly and mother went very pale and nearly fainted, because she could no longer disregard the report that had been witnessed and confirmed by so many people and with so much authority. She was not equal to bear Mrs Berry’s company any longer and departed the breakfast-parlour in great dudgeon. Thankfully Mrs. Berry took the hint and went away almost at once though not before she had delivered a long and extremely dull harangue to Julia and myself.

When she left, and you can depend upon it that she went to spread the news all over the place, I hurried off to mother’s dressing-room and found her at her desk, scribbling away in great agitation. She could barely compose herself though and her hand was shaking so badly that I asked the maid to bring her a glass of wine to calm down her nerves. In the end I took it upon myself to write to Aunt Grey after mother’s hysterical and halting dictation and urged by her in the most beseeching terms took it to the post myself. Julia stayed with her while I was away. I confess I welcomed the errand with all my heart for it provided me with an opportunity to leave the house and forgo the necessity to pretend that I was shocked and appalled at the news. If only you had seen our mother, Emily, I am sure you would have dearly repented causing her so much anxiety over your whereabouts and distress at having brought up such an ungrateful daughter. Yet I do not know that there is anything you can ever do to make amends for your thoughtless and perilous actions! Her heart is quite broken.

In the evening father came home and, sitting next to mother on the sofa, where she had been reclining half-faint after dinner, told her that he had heard some very strange rumours concerning your whereabouts. I know for a fact that mother wished to conceal the affair from father until she had any definite knowledge of it herself but realizing that all concealment was now impossible she broke down in tears and related to him what she had learned from Mrs. Berry. Father was naturally much struck by her communication and wished to proceed to Aunt Grey’s immediately and demand an explanation. Dreading that he should leave her while the household was in the state of great calamity, mother did faint, which expedient effectively stopped father from quitting the room. While the maid was restoring mother to her senses, I told father that the letter of inquiry had already been posted and pleaded with him not to leave us now that mother was unwell.

The next few days dragged by in a very slow and sombre manner and if it had not been raining without cessation I should have been greatly vexed at being shut up at home. But father got it into his head that Julia and I should elope next and made us stay in the same room with either him or mother for company. I did not dare take up my pen and write to you, afraid as I was that they should discover our correspondence and at the very first occasion that I had of sneaking into my room, in order to change before dinner, I took your letter and burnt it, for I had overheard to my extreme horror and indignation, as I was departing the drawing-room, that they meant to search our bed-chambers and all our personal things that might conceal secret notes and gifts.

Can you imagine that instead of a letter from Aunt Grey, that we had been expecting, she arrived herself? She was as badly out of breath as Mrs. Berry and nearly faint with exhaustion, informing us with much gurgling and gulping, that she had been on the road without a stop, anxious as she was to be of assistance to mother and father at such a trying time as was now upon them. She confessed to be much mortified by such a scandal to have taken place at her school and, having assured mother and father that she would have kept a closer eye on you had she noticed anything at all suspicious in your conduct, presented them with the parting note that you had left. They keep reading it over and over again, in vain looking for clues as to the identity of the mystery man you eloped with.

I hope for your sake that your Captain has kept his word and married you by now, because if he has not, I do not know what is to become of you now that everyone is aware of your elopement. But the fact that he does not wish you to meet any of his friends and does not take you out is very suspicious and I should not be much surprised to learn that he has someone to conceal. I do not know what else to tell you. I am in great confusion and trepidation: I wonder whether I should disclose to mother and father what I know, but how can I when I gave you my word that I would not? In any case, I do not think that I have the courage to do it, for I can quite imagine their reaction and with you away, I will be the one to be scolded and locked up. I am not yet certain how and when I shall have an opportunity to send this letter so it might take a while to reach you and I pray that when I next time receive your letter you shall sign it as Mrs. Twycross.

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regency novella in letters: Letter Three

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011
London

My dearest Louisa,

You know how much I love you but I must tell you quite honestly that you are the most ridiculous creature that I have ever met with in all my life. How droll you are! I am sure I was excessively diverted by your letter so much so that I desired to read it to the Captain and he was likewise much amused. He called you his favourite sister and asked me to pass you his best compliments and well wishes. However, dearest, your notions are quite appalling. How can you ask me to leave my dear Captain and return to that odious place my aunt calls school? Impossible! Captain Twycross and I are not married yet, to be sure, but it is only a matter of time. I am certain that the wait is almost over and I am not a bit afraid that mama and papa should find out about my elopement for I will be a married woman when they do. I do not care whether they should know now or later, however, I do believe that I should be the one to do the honour of introducing them to my excellent husband.

As for Aunt Grey, I naturally left her with a note, I propped it against the ink-stand on the small table in my room, where I explained that I was taking my leave of her for good as it is my intention to marry the man I love and that he does not care a fig how well I can read Greek or speak Latin and as for arithmetic I shall have so much money I won’t have to count it at all. I thought that was good enough to assure her that I knew exactly what I was doing. I left it up to her to decide whether to tell mama or not, but, I expect, you are correct in your conjectures that she chose not to inform her, because she does not wish to expose herself to ridicule by acknowledging that the security at her school is quite non-existent. I am sure it was monstrously easy to dupe everyone into thinking that I was going to my room and then hurry softly down the stairs and slip through the front doors. My maid had left through the back door before that to make sure that the front gates were unlocked while my servant smuggled out my things. As for Captain Twycross, he was waiting for me in the coach around the corner.

At any rate, it does not signify now. I am sure that she or whoever she has sent to look for me shall never find me in London. How can they when I did not mention Captain’s name and have not been using mine? I am currently living under an assumed name you have scolded me so dreadfully for picking and I mean to take your advice and change it as soon as ever I come up with something suitable. But you know how monstrously poor my memory is. I am sure I could not think of any other book or any other character but that of Miss Larolles, because I remember how much everyone teased me and called me by her name after I had agreed to read her lines to general approbation. It was no difficulty at all, I assure you, because I knew exactly what she was about. But the book itself! So monstrously dull and in as many as ten volumes! I do not know how anyone can stand reading something so odious and I constantly wonder at you and Julia for choosing to spend your time in such a tedious manner. Well, I imagine, Julia cannot help it for she is just as dull herself. But, as for you, Louisa – why – I am sure you can do better than that!

However, I believe you want to know all about my stay in London. Alas! I was looking forward to coming here with all my heart and it is quite broken into pieces, because as far as it goes I was met with much disappointment. London, I regret to inform you, is not what it is made out to be and, unless you have a large acquaintance to wait upon and to take you out, you cannot be seen anywhere without giving offence or being giving the snub. I am much vexed I assure you, because I was expecting some of our neighbours to be here by now, however, Captain tells me that it is a fox-hunting season and all the sportsmen are back in the country. I am sure I wish them at the devil with all my heart! As for Captain’s acquaintances, of which he has many hereabout, he forebears taking me to meet them, because he believes I shall be appalled to find myself in their company. And now, if you please, you are telling me that Mrs. Berry’s daughter had seen me! Why! I wish I had seen her too! Was it in Bond Street, do you think? I would be monstrously pleased to know the name of her mantua-maker – her gowns are always so very fine and stylish that I am sure hers must be French.

I was rolling on the floor with laughter when I imagined mama’s fury upon discovering nothing of significance in my room! But, however, what a monstrous thing to do to someone who has secrets to keep! Well, I do not keep mine in my room, I am sure I am not such a simpleton. I carry them with me in my sewing-box and a good thing too, seeing as how I cannot trust anyone not to go through my things in my absence. I have it all here with me: notes and letters from Captain and all kinds of trinkets that he gave me and I am sure I should have died with ennui if I didn’t have anything to divert myself with. Captain has ever so many affairs that I barely see him during the day and as I have no visitors to entertain and no calls to pay I have to stay on my own in this dreadful old house. I believe we stay in the most horrid part of the city there is. I wish we could have taken lodgings in Mayfair, you know, but Captain says that no one will think of looking for us here. I do not know what I would do if I did not have Molls with me – she is a funny girl, constantly prattling away, and awfully devoted to me.

But I do so wish you and mama were here with me at the moment for I cannot make up my mind what wedding clothes I want and what is the best place to order them at and when I told Captain of it he laughed and said that he could not possibly obtain the license before he should be certain that I have them ready. He told me that I should naturally purchase the best of everything, but I completely lost my head when I visited the shops, for there were so many of them and quite unlike anything we have at Thorrington: displaying goods of the finest quality in their windows and packed with fine ladies all dressed in the latest fashions. I felt like a country mouse I assure you: stupid and insignificant and dressed so poorly surrounded as I was by all that splendour! And then I could not make up my mind whether I wanted spotted or sprigged muslin and what colour and if I needed a new muff and what ribbons, gloves, hats, pelisse, stockings, shoes and whatnot! You must tell me if Mrs. Berry’s daughter is still in London and where at for I mean to wait upon her if she is and entreat her to accompany me to Bond Street next time I have courage and presence of mind to venture there.

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announcement: a new Regency project on-line

Monday, September 12th, 2011

A few weeks ago I started working on yet another Regency in letters. I decided to post it on-line every Wednesday under a pen name. With that purpose in mind I created a separate blog, Twitter and e-mail accounts. However, this double kind of life is taking too much of my time and is definitely not my cup of tea. That’s why I’m thinking about posting the story under my real name on my blog starting next week. I hope that you’ll be stopping by to read and (hopefully) enjoy the story. And I also must absolutely urge you to leave your comments with impressions and suggestions for further improvement. Thank you!

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writing, editing, struggling against apathy

Friday, August 19th, 2011

I’ve been busy writing these couple of weeks and I couldn’t have been happier. I’ve written quite a lot, but now I can feel the slow-down and the apathy settling in. I blame Pottermore and my lack of welcome e-mail!!! However, I’ll try to stay on track and preserve my writing pace. I just need to read something emotionally inspirational, because my writing is an inevitable by-product of my reading: it effects the way I write and makes me feel like a cow.

I’ve written about 7000 words of my current Regency WIP (by the way, my offer to beta read it still stands if anyone is interested), I’ve finished the next round of edits of the book that I used to hate but now kind of like. This time around it wasn’t horrible at all and I think a lot depends on who you are working with. I was surprised how easy and quickly it went. In fact, I couldn’t stop editing and I loved it and I fully credit my new editor and an on-line friend for my success.

A new heroine has visited me. I was surprised to make her acquaintance, because she comes from Victorian England! I’ve never cared much for Victorian England before, but I have to look into it now. I’ve outlined her story and it surprised me too, because a famous detective is involved! But I won’t be venturing into Victorian England just yet, because I still have a great number of Regency England projects to deal with.

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I have a huge book problem :((

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

I have a problem. A huge book problem. I wrote a book that I HATE. And I’m not talking about I’m-sick-to-death-of-this-book-how-many-revisions-and-edits-are-there-still-left-to-do. No, I’m talking about hating something [that you wrote] as a reader.

The thing is that I never wanted to write this book in the first place. When I first had the idea, I thought it very unlikely that I would work on it, because I didn’t like the story nor did I like the characters. But it forced itself upon me in the most mystic of ways and, instead of writing something I truly wanted to write, I was working on this book for five months.

It was completed last March, but my feelings didn’t change. I still disliked it immensely. But what do you do when you finish the book? You most likely submit it to a publisher. Though every day now I read more and more stories about how traditionally or semi-traditionally or whatever published authors are seeking independence and self-publish. It seems like more of a possibility and certainty these days, but a year ago I wasn’t ready. I don’t think I’m ready even now. I’d still like to have an agent and a traditional publisher and unless I try it and see how it works I won’t know which I prefer.

Anyway, back to the lamentably hateful book that I had the imprudence to write. It was accepted by a publisher without a hitch. I was surprised when three publishers at once wanted it and I had to choose which one to work with. Well, I’ve had my doubts and concerns ever since, but I made the choice. And then I thought that I should give the book another go. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all, if three publishers wanted it? So I took back the manuscript (Such a grand word for so low a thing!) and started revising it. Naturally, revision took more time than the actual writing. But no love blossomed during that time either. It was a pain to write about the characters you didn’t care a bit. It’s quite masochistic, now I come to think of it, like I’m in a sick relationship I can’t get out of. I’m compelled to remain where I am. But why?

It turned out to be a very troublesome book. Ha-ha. I’ve already had two editors. My first editor took a leave of absence after the first round of edits was complete due to health issues. I just hope it wasn’t the book’s fault! And even after my triple revision, it still demanded a great deal of editing.

I got the latest edits last night and I realized how much I HATE the damn thing. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I don’t have the strength to go through another round of edits. I’m sure the book is ill. I don’t know what to tell the publisher. Should I take it back and lock it up? Or tear it into pieces and burn? Or simply delete all its files forever from my computer?

It’s unlikely that I’ll ever be even remotely fond of it and I wonder whether I should publish something that I hate. Of course, it’s more than probable that others will like what I don’t, because it’s often enough the case. And I don’t know if I’m ready to give up on it even if I hate it. I’m not a quitter by nature and I don’t want to be defeated by my own bloody book! I battled f***ing breast cancer and didn’t give up! How can I give up now?!!

I just need to take time and get back to it, right? But I’m working on a new book now, the book I’ve been meaning to start ever since I completed “Margaret’s Rematch” and the book I absolutely love! I don’t want to give up that either. I just don’t know what to do.

If anyone wishes to give me an honest opinion, critique or advice, I’ll gladly sent over the copy of The Book I Hate. I came close to calling it The Book of Doom, but I wouldn’t want to doom anyone, so HATE it is…

In the meantime, fellow writers, have you ever experienced anything like that?

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